Total (prayer) Recall

The media coverage of Pope John Paul II's death was much like the 2000 Presidential election; no one knew what the hell was going on. Gore won. Gore lost. Then he won, again. Then he lost, again. The Pope was alive. Then he was dead. Then he was back again. Nuns across the world were prayer purgatory.

In ensuing news frenzy around John Paul's death, it was announced that he had died about three times. Each time it was soon after recounted, "We are getting word now that the Pope has risen from the dead, or that he never actually died in the first place." Oh, media, your so funny sometimes.

Nothing short of Revelations could have caused such confusion at the convent. The world new John Paul was on this death bed. The Onion even claimed people had been in line for his funeral since 1987. The nuns were practically camped out at the convent's chapel for death prayers to begin. The word finally came John Paul had kicked the bucket, the prayer alarm went off, and all the nuns herded into the chapel. Soon after, CNN revoked the story; he was still alive. The nuns weren't sure if their prayers had worked better than suspected. Then the news broke that John Paul had died for the second time. The prayer-alarm went off again. The nuns re-herded. Sister Marsha was skeptical. She went to the TV room instead of chapel. They re-announced that John Paul had beaten death for second time. Now, Sister Marsh wanted to goto the chapel. She barged in, and upon finding all the nuns in prayer, she yelled, "FALSE ALARM! HE IS STILL ALIVE!"