Saturday, April 11, 2009

Assault with Walker Tennis Balls

Background on Sister Loo-Loo
Sister Loo-Loo has a temper problem. She was sent to Chicago to attend a week-long anger management course for clergy and nuns. She was sent home three days later, and deemed "unmanageable."

Sister Loo-Loo v. Sister Latifa
Sister Latifa is old. Like, shout-outs-in-the Bible old. She has a walker, 4-pointer, with tennis balls. Sister Latifa often leaves it in the middle high-traffic walkways. The center aisle of the chapel. In front of the photocopier. Blocking the confessional door so people can't get out. You get the idea.

Last week Sister Latifa went to the computer room. When Sister Latifa arrived, Sister Loo Loo was already there. Sister Latifa parked her walker in the one, narrow, exit aisle of the computer room. Moments later, Sister Loo Loo attempted to leave. She saw the walker, and had a little melt down; "GOD DAMN THIS WALKER!" She kicked it across the room. She removed the tennis balls. She started throwing them at Sister Latifa. In return, Latifa started throwing pens and spiting. Three other sisters staged an intervention. Loo Loo and Latifa have to meet for mediation next week. For the moment, neither is allowed within 50 feet of each other.

EDIT: Sister "Loo Loo" has appeared as a star player in previous posts. Here is one of them.