Wanted: Photo copier stolen from a Convent

"I dont know what she lost first, her mind or the photo copier. We have a really large Ricio copier in the back part of the library. It wasn’t feeling well. The nuns prayed for it, but they had learned prayer and relics alone don’t get the job done. Sometimes, you need the help of a mere human (see the “iCoprse: Convent Tech-Support” post). A repairman was called to intervene. He came at the appointed time.

Repairman: I am here to service the copier, can you show me where it is?

Sister V: It’s missing.

Repairman: Huh?

Sister V: I can’t locate it. You’ll have to come back when we can find it.

Repairman: You lost the photocopier?

Sister V: No, I think it was stolen.

Sister V was distraught. She reported the copier stolen. The sisters searched the convent. I eventually found out about the “theft”, and said, “Uhm, I saw it 30 min ago where it always has been.” The nuns descended on the library. The copier was still broken, and still standing where it had always been. Apparently, Sister V, despite using the copier hundreds of times, thought it was kept in the front of the library, not the back.

Christmas Special: Toilet Paper Saves Christmas from Historical Inaccuracies

Mom came over for Christmas Eve diner this afternoon. The nuns are big on Christmas cheer. Go figure. Mom said they have numerous manger scenes up around the convent. However, this was not without controversy. Again, go figure. Apparently, the nuns aren't keen on the idea of the baby Jesus being placed in a manger scene until December 25th. Doing so would imply that his birthday was sometime prior to the 25th. Some of the convent’s older nativity scenes come with a non-removable Christ-child. The sisters, obviously, had a problem. They did not want wait until the 25^th to put the manger scenes up, and they had ruled out the partial birth abortion option (i.e. hack-sawing baby JChrist out of the scene, and replacing him on his birthday). What is a Sister to do? Easy. Taking inspiration, not from the Lord above, but from high-school jocks pulling Halloween pranks, the sisters found the answers to their prayers; toilet paper.

Mom said, “I came into work and was like what the hell is going on in here? About half of the nativity scenes have be vandalized, and baby Jesus as been toilet-papered!”

Sister Ingenuity explained the situation. “Christ wasn’t born until the 25^th, so we had to hide all the baby Jesuses with toilet paper until his birthday.”

Mom asked, “Uhm…your hiding the son of God with toilet paper? Wouldn’t a paper towel be more…respectful?”

Sister Ingenuity responded, “No, toilet paper is just fine.”

Mom asked when the Jesuses were going to be unveiled.

Sister Ingenuity responded, “After 8pm mass, which is at 12am.”

“Right,” mom said, and went back to her desk.