My dad just emailed me a news story from Italy. It looks like mom's convent is not the only "troubled nun house" on the planet. Who knew? See below.
Italian archbishop closes convent after nuns come to blows
A convent in southern Italy is being shut down after a quarrel among its last three remaining nuns ended in blows, press reports said Sunday.
Sisters Annamaria and Gianbattista, reportedly upset about their mother superior's authoritarian ways, scratched her in the face and threw her to the ground at Santa Clara convent near Bari in an incident in July that was kept quiet until now.
Archbishop Giovanni Battista Pichierri tried to reconcile the nuns but finally decided in late August that they had "clearly lost their religious vocation" and asked the Vatican for permission to close the convent.
Sisters Annamaria and Gianbattista moved to another convent, but Sister Liliana barricaded herself inside, refusing to leave, the reports said, adding that she suspected Battista Pichierri of planning to cede the convent to another community.
Liliana has been at the convent since its founding in 1963.
The link is here.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Nuns Calling the Police on Other Nuns
Below is the entire text of an email I got from Mom this afternoon. I'll have to call her to get all the details. This sounds like a good one.
New Sister story-2 sisters report license plate of a car driving extremely fast to police-turns out it was another sister!!!
Love,
Mom
New Sister story-2 sisters report license plate of a car driving extremely fast to police-turns out it was another sister!!!
Love,
Mom
Monday, August 13, 2007
More Plant Killings
Every year there is some problem with the convent flowers. Usually, a few sisters mutilate a few plants, and then dispose of their remains in a crass, un-christian, pro-mafia manner. Last year it was the Easter Lillies poisoned with orange juice (see previous post). This year, the flowers were thrown to their death.
Apparently, during the month of May, the convent expends great efforts honoring Mother Mary. In doing this, flower crowns are placed upon all the Mary statues around the convent. This was sure to lead to disaster.
Mom comes into work on some Monday in May. She has to go into the chapel to get something. She notices that on the largest Mary effigy, that there is no flower crown. Instead, there are flowers at Mary's feet. Mom said she instantly knew "there must have been some kind of incident over the weekend." Little did she know, the "incident" was more like a really big "scene" and it took place during Sunday Mass.
Mom asked around. Sister Lacy had been complaining about the flowers all month. They were making her sneeze and cough. Obviously, the best place for her to sit in mass then was right next to the Mary statue with the most flowers on it. She goes into a sneezing fit during prayer. She stands up, says "God, forgive me," and then walks over to the statue. She rips the flowers of Mary's head. She walks over to a window, opens it, and throws the flowers out the windo. She then returns to her pew and continues with prayer as if nothing happened. A "scene" followed almost immediatlly thereafter.
Apparently, during the month of May, the convent expends great efforts honoring Mother Mary. In doing this, flower crowns are placed upon all the Mary statues around the convent. This was sure to lead to disaster.
Mom comes into work on some Monday in May. She has to go into the chapel to get something. She notices that on the largest Mary effigy, that there is no flower crown. Instead, there are flowers at Mary's feet. Mom said she instantly knew "there must have been some kind of incident over the weekend." Little did she know, the "incident" was more like a really big "scene" and it took place during Sunday Mass.
Mom asked around. Sister Lacy had been complaining about the flowers all month. They were making her sneeze and cough. Obviously, the best place for her to sit in mass then was right next to the Mary statue with the most flowers on it. She goes into a sneezing fit during prayer. She stands up, says "God, forgive me," and then walks over to the statue. She rips the flowers of Mary's head. She walks over to a window, opens it, and throws the flowers out the windo. She then returns to her pew and continues with prayer as if nothing happened. A "scene" followed almost immediatlly thereafter.
Are Nuns the Real Bud-Light Target Audience?
Sister Darcy said, "The only thing I will miss about summer is the Bud-lite commercials on TV."
Melons
Mom called.
Apprentlly, the kitchen staff at the convent was given the afternoon
off in order to "decompress and find some inner peace."
"Is working in the kitchen that stressful," I asked.
Mom gave me the nun reality-check, and replied, "Well, tensions were pretty high between two sisters. One of them threw an entire watermellon at the other. It made a big mess."
Apprentlly, the kitchen staff at the convent was given the afternoon
off in order to "decompress and find some inner peace."
"Is working in the kitchen that stressful," I asked.
Mom gave me the nun reality-check, and replied, "Well, tensions were pretty high between two sisters. One of them threw an entire watermellon at the other. It made a big mess."
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Mostlly Clear Skys, with a 70% Chance of Angels After Midnight
Mom called with the latest spiritual forecast. Apparently, this is a new feature at the convent.
Sister Jenna is old. Rumor has it that she even has a few "shout-outs" in the Old Testament. Her eyes are not what they used to be. Apparently, her mental state might also be a few wafers short of a decent meal. Sister Jenna walked into Mom's office. The following conversation took place;
"It's going to be nice out for the next two weeks," Jenna stated.
"Oh?" mom asked, with some suspicion.
"Yes, I saw a angel fly by the moon last night, so I know it's going to be nice out for the next two weeks," Jenna explained.
"Oh, isn't that nice, should we plan a picnic?" mom asked.
Sister Jenna is old. Rumor has it that she even has a few "shout-outs" in the Old Testament. Her eyes are not what they used to be. Apparently, her mental state might also be a few wafers short of a decent meal. Sister Jenna walked into Mom's office. The following conversation took place;
"It's going to be nice out for the next two weeks," Jenna stated.
"Oh?" mom asked, with some suspicion.
"Yes, I saw a angel fly by the moon last night, so I know it's going to be nice out for the next two weeks," Jenna explained.
"Oh, isn't that nice, should we plan a picnic?" mom asked.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Burning Down the House
Who needs I.E.D.’s when you’ve got Christ-missiles?
So there was a small fire at the convent this week. Apparently, the chapel has some form of spring-loaded candles. Who knew such things even existed? Well, not just one, but TWO, malfunctioned during Mass this week. The result? Yup. Flaming Missiles of Doom. The first Christ-bomb reportedly went about 10 feet. The flame fizzled in mid air. The second one, however, only went about 9-inches, and still had an ember burning on the end of the wick. A small dose of hellfire and brimstone followed. However, a nun quickly stamped it out. Prayer followed.
So there was a small fire at the convent this week. Apparently, the chapel has some form of spring-loaded candles. Who knew such things even existed? Well, not just one, but TWO, malfunctioned during Mass this week. The result? Yup. Flaming Missiles of Doom. The first Christ-bomb reportedly went about 10 feet. The flame fizzled in mid air. The second one, however, only went about 9-inches, and still had an ember burning on the end of the wick. A small dose of hellfire and brimstone followed. However, a nun quickly stamped it out. Prayer followed.
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